The Best and Worst of Mountain View

Best

• Tons of free Naked Juice whilst waiting in the lobbies at Google
• The climate
• Free wireless everywhere you go
• The toilets at Google. Seat warmers, bidet, and, yes, even ass-dryers
• Double-doubles at In-N-Out Burger

Worst

• Drinking too much Blue Machine and getting stomach cramps
• Uncomfortable plastic red, blue, green, and yellow chairs
• Being with a bunch of geeks on Valentine’s Day, instead of my wife
• That guy sitting beside me whose cologne smells like cat urine
• Being told not to take any more photos of the Googleplex

The absolute best? Leaving the left coast for the right one in just a hair over a day. I miss Natania, and haven’t seen my folks in Wilmington in more than seven months.